Letters 2 Life

Of course, why wouldn’t my answer be my own life? Even thinking about it feels dreadful sometimes. It is a book that can be so hard to read because I don’t get to put it down when a chapter becomes too much. I don’t get to close the cover, leave…

Why do they see the anger but never ask where it came from? Why do they see the despise, the bitterness, the distance, and suddenly that becomes the story of who I am? They see the version of me that came after everything, but they never saw the death of…

If I could relive one year of my life, it would be 2017. Why? There is a line from Sinners that keeps coming back to me: “The last time I seen my brother, last time I seen the sun.” I think that’s why. Because I feel like the last time…

“Some pain is too deep for tears. It settles into silence and learns to live there.” I think I understand that kind of pain more than I would like to admit. There have been things I’ve felt that I couldn’t cry about, couldn’t explain, and sometimes couldn’t even put into…

In the flash of a moment, the stranger said something that sounded harmless; a kiss!!. Then silence. Then laughter. And somewhere between one laugh and the next, a sentence slipped through the cracks: “We’re not even a couple.” And everything became silent, not the room. The laughter continued. The compliments…

And for a moment, I don’t have to wonder whether I matter, I just breathe. I know how strange that sounds. How can breathing be brave? But sometimes it is. Sometimes it takes everything in me just to get through a conversation, to sit around people, to act normal when…

Maybe for me, it is the way I look at people. I was raised with the idea that you should accept people as they are. Be loyal, stay until the end. Treat people with understanding. Give them chances. Maybe that sounds like a beautiful way to live, but sometimes I…

Have you ever disappeared without actually leaving? Not physically, you’re still here. Still answering messages. Still smiling when someone says something funny. Still showing up to work, to conversations, to the places you’re expected to be. Still saying, “I’m okay,” because explaining that you’re not feels like more work than…

Recently, I’ve picked up something people might call slothfulness: taking my time. Rushing has never solved every problem, so why do I have to live according to another person’s watch? I’m not saying advice is bad, sometimes it helps us find direction but I wonder what the prize is if…

I’m not sure what the weirdest coincidence I’ve ever experienced is. Maybe it’s because some coincidences don’t feel strange until you’re sitting quietly in the middle of them. Imagine sitting at a table, having a conversation that feels important. Not the kind you have just to fill the silence, but…